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God Less America hears from an American Atheist

Ladies and gentlemen, gather 'round because it's time to take a comedic look at the state of the good ol' U.S. of A. Yep, we're headed toward what I like to call the "Nonbelief Express"! The Secular Age is spreading like wildfire, not just here but in other Western democracies too. And year after year, we see church attendance going slip-slidin' away.

Now, church leaders are freaking out over this, my friends. They're scratching their heads, wondering why folks aren't showing up to pray anymore. They're like, "C'mon, people, let's pray harder, let's recruit more believers!" But I gotta tell ya, there's a simpler explanation, and it's called Occam's Razor – the idea that the most straightforward answer is usually the right one.

Here's the deal: millions of Americans are turning away from supernatural religion because, well, they see that it's just not true! I mean, seriously, think about it. Intelligent, educated, modern folks aren't buying into those magical dogmas anymore. Gods, devils, heavens, hells, angels, demons, miracles, messiahs – it's like a bunch of hooey, fairy tales with zero factual reality.

And speaking of intelligence, researchers say our average IQs have been on the rise for decades. So, as we get smarter, we're less likely to fall for the whole divine-helping-hand-in-the-sky idea. Doubters are scoring higher on the IQ scale, while believers... well, let's just say they might need to hit the books a bit more.

Now, this isn't a new phenomenon, my friends. Since ancient times, there have been skeptics, doubters, and brave thinkers who questioned the holy hokum. One of the wildest and funniest ones was the late, great George Carlin – a legend in the comedy world. He had some pretty spot-on thoughts about religion.

He was like, "Religion, man, it's the ultimate champion of false promises and exaggerated claims!" And I gotta say, he wasn't wrong. You know, the whole invisible man in the sky keeping tabs on your every move, with a list of do's and don'ts – sounds like a real page-turner, right?

But wait, there's more!

He loves you, but boy oh boy, does he need money! All-powerful, all-knowing, but can't quite handle the finances. Religion rakes in billions of dollars, tax-free, and yet they always need a bit more. It's like the ultimate "Holy Shit!" story.

So, folks, right before our very eyes, we're witnessing the decline of supernatural faith in America. And Occam's Razor tells us it's because those magical dogmas just don't cut it anymore. They're simply not believable.

Let's embrace the times, keep our minds sharp, and remember that it's okay to laugh at some of the absurdities we encounter along the way. After all, life's too short to take everything too seriously, especially when invisible men in the sky and their divine financial needs are involved!

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